In The News

This is an article about Stonewall and me that ran in our local newspaper earlier this year. I didn't post it at the time because I hadn't yet outed us. I did erase the name of the town we live in.

Relying on each other: A young, married couple will grow together from afar as he serves in Iraq.

January 21, 2008


PIC: SUBMITTED Soldier and Wife hurried to marry before his redeployment to Iraq, which has since been delayed. Wife said the last time Soldier was in Iraq, she e-mailed him every day.

Perhaps it wasn't love at first strike, that Thanksgiving Day in 2005.

But as Soldier and Wife got to know each other between frames of bowling, it was clear something was there.

"He asked me out at the end of the evening," Wife recalled. "We started hanging out, talking, and pretty soon, we were engaged."

Most of the talking in 2006 was long distance. Just three weeks after meeting, Soldier, who serves full-time in the Army National Guard, was deployed to Iraq.

The couple had known each other less than two weeks when the orders came down. While her lieutenant husband is hesitant to say exactly what he did in Iraq for security reasons, he did say it was in the field of logistics and supply.

Since high school, Soldier, 25, has known he wanted to serve his country, he said. He was in the ROTC program at Shippensburg University until he graduated in 2004. His degree is in history. Wife, who works as a human resources specialist, said she is learning how to be an Army wife.

"The best part about it is when people are talking about how proud they are to support the troops," she said. "And I get this warm feeling because my husband is one of them."

The couple agree that being apart during the early part of their relationship was difficult. Wife said she e-mailed her then-boyfriend every day, sometimes many times a day.

"I told him everything that was going on," she said. "Everything."

He came home in September 2006 and proposed a month later.

Originally, the couple was supposed to have been married this month. But soon after setting the date, Soldier learned he would be returning to Iraq.

"He was supposed to have left last month," said Wife, 26.

So instead of waiting, the couple moved the date up and was married in March 2007. While the couple has done their best to make the most of their time together, Soldier is to return to Iraq later this year.

"It's never easy," Wife said. "But at least this time, I will have a better idea of what to expect."

As a military wife, Wife said, she also has access to helpful resources, including support groups.

"I have met some amazing people who have been married and military for 25 years," she said. "The strength of some of these families is incredible."

Now that he has a family of his own, Soldier said, it has changed his leadership style.

"I'm definitely more understanding now," he said. "You don't truly realize the responsibility people feel toward their families while they are serving until you have a family of your own.

In time, the couple hopes to grow their family with children. But with so much of their early relationship divided by war, they say they will spend quality time just getting to know each other when Bill returns from Iraq in 2009.

And as he prepares to return to a war zone, he said the most important support he will receive will be from his new bride.

"It makes a difference being married," Soldier said. "There is so much more to look forward to when it comes to thinking about coming home."

I made a few changes so we wouldn't be so easily identifiable, but otherwise this is the story that was published.