When I look at Sammy and I'm holding him, nothing else matters. Not the laundry or the clutter or whether or not I've showered or eaten lunch. I love when he looks up at me and makes his cute little baby faces and his cooing pigeon and pterodactyl cries that make me laugh. Even this evening when he spit up down the inside of my shirt, I just wanted to cuddle him. When I'm fully focused on Sammy, I feel really good. Then when I realize something else needs my attention I feel frustrated. I feel like if Sammy needs my attention, but I can't give it to him, then I'm failing him. And when Sammy doesn't need my attention, I just want to take some time to relax and read or shower or eat, but then I feel guilty because I think I should be cleaning or doing laundry because that needs to get done as well.
I've never felt so confused or frustrated about what I should or shouldn't be doing. I wish Stonewall were here.
Mommy's sweet boy
8 comments:
I'm sorry, that is rough! That's about when I would call my mom and have a good cry over the telephone...
That's motherhood. Sometimes its great. And sometimes it sucks. It's harder when your hubby isn't around. Mine wasn't around much either for the first 14 months...
You're doing the right stuff. You're holding and loving that baby boy.. Even if the laundry sits for a bit and the dust settles.
I know it's easier said than done, but try to remember your primary job is your little boy. The rest of that stuff... It will still be there tomorrow. I feel for you right now. I really, really do.
I think we've all experienced this with being a new mom. I hope it gets better for ya =}
the laundry can wait - well, you might need something to wear eventually. dusting, until you start to sneeze, no worries. When he's asleep - you sleep.
If he has to wait for attention for a couple of minutes, it won't hurt him either! If he's dry and warm and fed and safe - he's ok too.
LAW
After having my own kids, I've discovered that newborns are a whole lot more fun when they are someone else's. Not to say I didn't enjoy my boys when they were tiny, but the fun, really enjoyable part of them is the stuff that doesn't involve worrying whether they have died of SIDS when they sleep longer than normal, or changing their diaper and entire outfit because, once again, their diaper leaked. So, don't feel bad for being frustrated! And this isn't the happiest part, I promise. He's cute and cuddly and beautiful, but as he gains independence, you'll find your stride as a mother.
Motherhood is a tough path to walk. The fact that you worry about these things tells me you are doing a fantastic job. A lousy mother wouldn't think twice about whether or not she was doing a good job.
I am so sorry sweetie, this is a LOT to be taking on all at once. I have no doubt that you are an exceptional momma though!
Hang in there.
Your boy is so beautiful =)
I wish I could give you advice, but I have zero experience being a mommy!! all I can say is hang in there, it sounds like you are doing a terrific job!!
Oh no! Dont cry!
No, scratch that. Cry all you want. It usually helps a bit. I did a whole lot of crying after Dillon was born. (He was the most colicky, miserable baby in the history of childbearing)
I promise you, this all gets better with time. Once Sammy starts sleeping through the night you'll feel like a new woman! And like your other commenters said- the laundry will wait. That's one thing I've learned having babies. You just need to let the house go in the beginning. It was especially bad after I had Nathan. We moved across he country and J left for Korea all before he was 8 weeks old. That was when I finally threw my hands up in the air and gave myself a break. And it was OK. I've never regretted it ;)
Focus on your baby and do the laundry when you run out of underwear is what I say!
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