I'm a magazine addict, so before Sammy was born I read every pregnancy magazine I could get my hands on. While they were pretty informative there are some things that they do not prepare you for when it comes to motherhood.
1. C-Sections suck! Granted, I've never given birth vaginally, but I can't imagine that it is worse than a c-section. Why do people schedule these things for anything other than a medically necessary reason?! My ten inch incision, which will no doubt lead to a ten inch scar, hurts! Pants of any kind are my worst enemy as they rub and irritate my (have I mentioned?) ten inch incision. And since c-sections are considered major surgery, after all I was cut open and left with a (say it with me now) ten inch incision, I can't lift much more than Sammy, stairs can be tricky, and my body feels like I've just lost a boxing match by about 5PM every day. I highly recommend that if it is not necessary for you to have a c-section, you don't. (For the record, I don't think giving birth by c-section is any less of a birthing experience than giving birth vaginally. Either way you are giving birth and it is nothing short of amazing.)
2. My mom warned me about this one, but I still wasn't totally prepared: After giving birth, you will have a jelly belly and it's nasty. All that extra
stretched skin and fat just...hang there...and...jiggle. So not attractive. It's not even like a pot belly. Instead it's just extra fatty skin just hanging there...
ick.
3. Breastfeeding is weird. It's kinda cool, but it's also weird. Things leak and drip. It can be messy, but the mess is coming from you. It's kind of like when you slobber but don't realize it until you feel it dripping down your chin. And in literally one day I had to come to terms with my boobies going from "fun bags" to "food source."
4. There is a reason it takes two people to actually make a baby: Two is the best number to take care of and raise a baby. I have no one to take turns with when it comes to getting up at night and no one to keep Sammy happy when I'm making dinner or folding laundry and no one to get Sammy ready when I'm trying to get myself ready. I'm also worried that Sammy will miss out on some sort of male, father/son bonding experience that is necessary in the first few months of life. Or that he's going to have trust issues because there aren't two of us and someone to focus on Sammy 100% all of the time.
5. You will feel like a bad mother. I feel like I'm failing Sammy as a mom when I let him cry at night just so I can get some sleep or when I let him cry so I can make myself dinner at 10:00PM or when I let him cry so I can go potty. I feel like a bad mom when I have to feed him a bottle instead of breastfeed him because my boobies can't keep up with feedings every one hour and in the middle of the night a bottle is quicker than breastfeeding. I feel like a bad mom when I can't figure why Sammy's crying and he just ate and his diaper is dry. I feel like a bad mom because I get frustrated sometimes. I also feel like a bad mom to my pups because I can't give them the attention I used to give them. The thing is I know I'm not a bad mom...I'm just a single mom for the next eight months.
6. It's true what they say: You have no idea how much you can love someone until you're a mother. I was so not prepared to care about and worry about and fret over and love someone as much as I do with Sammy.
8 comments:
I love this post because it rings so true and I can relate to much of it quite well. And I think the contents totally support the fact that you are definitely a great mom! I was that first time mom while husband's deployed and can relate to how exhausting and guilt ridden that can make you! I imagine that ten inch incision just makes things all the more exhausting. I hope your son eases your mind when Stonewall comes home again and they bond quickly and easily. But in the meantime, I hope you can get your rest when you can and definitely keep taking pictures! I'm sure Stonewall is loving that you've got so many great ones already.
i love the honesty in this post.
Two of my best friends had a baby this summer and they said exactly what you said about teamwork. They both agreed that they had no idea how they could do it without the other one.
Your little baby is beautiful
I am sure you are a wonderful mom!! Keep up the hard work, doing this alone cannot be easy!
Love #6 :-)
As for #1, I don't think they should allow C-sections for people that don't have a second person to help care for the baby while the mom is recovering. You're recovering from major surgery, of course it's hard to lift things like a baby!
You poor girl...those are some tough lessons, but I'm sure you are doing an incredible job as a mother.
I never could understand why people would opt for a c-section either. It is certainly not easier.
About the csection thing, even though my scars were not nearly as big, when I got my appendix out, I needed help with anything for the first few days. Getting off the couch. Dressing myself. My stomach was swollen and NO PANTS felt comfortable. Panties didn't even feel comfortable. It hurt to laugh. Cough. Sneeze. I could go on. When people said "oh but the scars are so tiny" all I thought was "there are three holes in my stomach from which a part of my body was extrcated. Don't give me that 'it shouldn't hurt' shit". I can only imagine that the 10 inch incision hurts even worse.
No one ever talks about the jelly belly! Never! The up side to that is that I've heard it goes away MUCH quicker than it would seem. I've seen what you're talking about.
I hope things get a little easier for you. Your son is precious.
Awwww amazing pictures and amazing facts. They say nothing can truly prepare you for motherhood until you experience it :)
Motherhood challenges the very best in each one of us, and helps us to become the very best that is within us. Sounds like you are right on track:-)
Kathryn Skaggs
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