I had my postpartum check-up today and everything is awesome and things are as they should be. Most excitedly, I'm losing weight! I was at about 230 right before Lil' Mootz was born and I probably lost about 10-12 lbs. when he was born (which is the quickest 10-12 lbs. I've ever lost). At my one week check-up I was still above 200 lbs, but today I was at 197 and I was wearing jeans at the time!
My doctor also had me fill out a postpartum depression survey to make sure I was doing well. There were questions about how often I cried, how sad I was feeling, how overwhelmed I was feeling and I honestly couldn't answer "Never" to any of the questions. Granted, I was in the "I occasionally feel this way" bracket, so it wasn't anything alarming. The thing is I'm feeling overwhelmed and sad times and I cry sometimes, not because of postpartum depression, but because Stonewall is deployed. I'm actually happier because of Lil' Mootz. Lil' Mootz is keeping me from feeling depressed. Luckily, my doctor knew that Stonewall was deployed, so he wasn't concerned with my answers. He even marked on the survey that Stonewall was deployed and that was the reason for my less than 100% positive answers.
Next topic...
We met my half-brother, S., over the weekend. As it turns out, my dad has a son from a previous relationship. My sister and I learned about him a few years ago, but at that time my dad had had no contact with him or his mom since S. was a baby. A few months ago, S.'s mom contacted my dad and asked if she could give S. my dad's email. He said yes, and so here we are now.
S. is about four years older than me. He's married and has two adorable kids, a 4-year-old girl and an 18-month-old boy. S. and his wife are so nice and his kids are super cute and friendly. I was really glad we met them and I'm looking forward to getting to know them better.
One of the funny things is that S. has never been around my dad before, yet he has some of his mannerisms. There were several times I saw him standing like my dad stands and talking with his hands the way my dad does. Also, except for the nose, he looks just like my dad.
Last thing...
Sometimes I really dislike the Army. Yeah, big surprise, I know. I find it very ironic that because of USERRA every single deployed National Guard soldier who holds a civilian job is guaranteed to have that job when he/she returns home while soldiers like my husband who were employed full-time by the Army are NOT guaranteed their jobs. Before Stonewall was deployed he was on ADSW orders. However, since being deployed the unit he was working with has been disbanded. When Stonewall returns home the Army is, of course, not required to give him another full-time job. WTF?! Why are civilian employers held to certain laws to protect soldiers, yet the Army does not protect soldiers in the same manner. How messed up is this?!
Stonewall and I have no idea what we are going to do when he comes home. We have a few options. He could try and get another ADSW job or better yet, an AGR job. However, it's the Army. At this point, we can't know for sure that he will be able to secure those orders and so right now we can't depend on that to make plans for the future. AGR jobs are slim-pickins. Everyone wants them and why wouldn't they? The benefits and pay of active duty, with the added benefits of staying in one place and not having to deal with many deployments.
Option two is get out of the Army and get a civilian job. I don't think that's what Stonewall wants. He's a soldier through and through. I know he would do it if that's what our family needed, but I also know a part of him would be unhappy and unfulfilled. Another really big problem with option two is the money. We have created a lifestyle with the kind of money he makes in the Army. He would not be able to find a job right now that makes what he makes in the Army. Financially, we would be in trouble and we, most likely, would not be able to afford us.
Which brings us to option three: active duty. We've talked about this. We both agree it would be exciting and something different. However, neither of us likes the idea of moving away from our families. We've picked the life we picked so far because we like home being where our families are. However, like I previously mentioned, we can't afford this life without the Army. If we go active duty we can afford this life, but we would have to leave it.
*Sigh* A rock and a hard place.
5 comments:
Lots of tough decisions. Hopefully the right answer just falls into your lap.
I'll be praying for you! We are in the same situation now. Christian comes home in less than 60 days and has no job to come home to. So we are weighing all the options - stay in or get out. This is his 3rd deployment so the thought of him staying active is a little scary for me.
Tough decision. I can speak as the child of an active duty Army officer for 20+ years. I know it was hard for my mom to be away from family and it was hard to leave friends every time we moved, but I look at my cousins who stayed in the same town they grew up in vs. me who moved all over and I feel like I had a more enriching life because of those experiences. In addition, I think my family is much closer because it was just my parents and I all those years so we had to rely on each other. That doesn't mean that I don't wish I still had friends from when I grew up, but it's a trade off and I know you'll make the best decision for your family.
Its not the best thing to go through, but has your husband considered trying to get into Recruiting through an AGR position? I know they really need recruiters...
Best of luck.
I feel for you being in between a rock and hard place with the military versus civilian job. I am anxious that neither my husband nor I will have jobs after his pilot training is over in Nov. (He's national guard). You would think the military would think about these things and help their people out - oh wait, that makes sense, it can't be the military's thinking.
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