Fashionably Late

"To be early is to be on time...To be on time is to be late...And to be late is unacceptable."

An officer is never late, and so by default, an officer's wife is never late. But I'm always late. If I call it fashionably late, is it acceptable?

I was always late before Stonewall and I got married. I think maybe I was supposed to change once we got married, but for 25 years I've been doing things my way (which is to say 10 minutes after everyone else), and while we were engaged I didn't get any better. I'm not sure why after a day of wedding celebrating anyone thought I would suddenly start being on time. And just to prove I wasn't going to change I was late for breakfast with the entire family the day after the wedding. Six months have gone by and I'm still not on time for anything. I can start getting ready an hour before I'm to leave the house or two hours before I'm to leave the house. It makes no difference. I'm still late. Fashionably late, but late none-the-less.