Military Spouse - Chance or Fate?

Different people join the military for different reasons. Some join for the education assistance, others because they want to travel or they don't know what else to do. I hope, and I believe, that most join because they believe that there is something greater than themselves and being the protectors of America and her citizens is what they were ultimately meant to do. What about the military spouses, though? Is it chance that we end up belonging to the military even though we are not soldiers, or is it fate and we too recognize that some things are more important than ourselves?

I applied and got accepted to college during my senior year in high school. However, I was also toying with the idea of enlisting in the military (this was before 9/11). I say toying because I never really seriously considered it. The idea appealed to me, but I'm the girl who likes high heels and makeup and sleeping in. I was afraid of boot camp and the horror stories I'd seen in movies. Even when I mentioned in passing the idea to my family, they laughed and teased me about being the girl who would try and change the camo to pink.

During college, I loved my majors and I don't regret much about what happened during those years. However, whenever I would see students that belonged to the ROTC program, I would have a feeling of wonderment and the sense that they were a part of something greater that I too wanted to be a part of. (I was a journalism student and about 1/4 of my stories involved the military.) I couldn't quite put my finger on the feelings, especially since I knew being a soldier was not for me. I would not be able to get up at 4:00 AM and do drills or (as vain as this will sound) wear the uniforms and boots and my hair in a bun no matter what the occasion. That was not me.

I volunteered for different military charities. I sent packages to Iraq and Afghanistan as part of the My Soldier program. I would donate money (when I had it) to different military charities. When my sister needed help getting together packages to send to soldiers, I helped her. However, this still did not seem like enough.

After I graduated from college, I once again looked into joining the military. This time more specifically, the Navy. I was a college graduate, so I looked in to what I would have to do to become an officer. I was in the recruiters office one time though, and there was another girl there as well. She was also looking into what she had to do to become an officer. There was something about her, though, that I did not have. She had a confidence about her that simply radiated, "I WANT to be an officer in the military. I WANT to be a soldier." I, honestly, did not have that same feeling. I wanted to contribute to the military. I wanted to be a part of what the military does, but I did not want to be a soldier.

Then I met Stonewall. I knew from the beginning he was an officer in the Army. We dated for three weeks before he was sent to Iraq for the first time. When he asked me to marry him, it finally clicked in me what I was meant to do. I was not meant to be a soldier. I am meant to be a soldier's wife. The greater purpose of my life is to be at the home front supporting my soldier, as no one else can.

I read and hear about it all the time. Those who are not a part of a military family want to know how difficult it is when our soldiers are away. They want to know how we deal with the pressures and stresses of "belonging" to the government and being at the beck and call of the military. The truth of it is, it is not always easy. In the past year, there have been at least a dozen times when I've wanted to go knocking on doors and call the President and give them all a piece of my mind.

We know though, that no matter how difficult the deployments are or how many months out of the year we are separated from our soldier, in the end, it is all worth it. A sense of duty speaks to our minds and our hearts and we muster all of our strength and courage and answer. We provide a service that no one else can. When my soldier is hurt, sad, far from home, tired, or a million other things, I let him know that I am here for him. I support him, even if no one else does. I'm the one who will always be here to welcome him home. I'm the one he thinks about when he can't come home or when things seem impossible. And just like every other military spouse, I do it because I know my soldier is making the ultimate sacrifice and I don't want him to have to do it alone.

Was it merely chance that Stonewall and I met or fate that brought us together? Well, whichever it was, I know I've found my place as a military spouse. My husband and soldier will give his life for citizens of other countries and for American citizens, and so I give my life to him.