It's My Party and I'll Misbehave If I Want To

I think my kid is in danger of becoming "that kid."  You know, the one no one really wants to invite to birthday parties.  I hate to say that because he's my kid and he is only three, but we've had some pretty bad birthday party experiences of late.

First, there was his cousin's first birthday party about a year ago.  It went something like this:

• Parents congregating in the living room and kitchen eating, chatting, etc. etc.
• Kids playing outside.
• Kids running inside screaming their heads off about poop.
• One parent saying, "There's a little boy outside with a poopy diaper around his ankles."
• Me, mortified, as I realize that's my child.
• Children still freaking out and parents doing nothing to calm them down, but rather urging the situation on.
• Me, getting Lil Mootz and carrying him inside, bare poopy ass in everyones' faces.    

(Okay, I'll admit...I was more pissed by the adults' reactions to this situation than by Lil Mootz's peep show.  Like a 2 year old with a poopy diaper around his ankles is freakishly rare.  I did my best to shove his poopy butt in as many faces as I made my way through the crowded kitchen to the bathroom.)

Then, it was his party at the beginning of February.  As all the kids were sitting down to eat their cake, Lil Mootz decided to throw a major tantrum by throwing his cake on the floor.  This wouldn't have been so bad except everyone, all 30 invitees, were crowded around the table singing "Happy Birthday."  Not only did they witness Lil Mootz's tantrum, but they also witnessed my piss poor attempt at getting him to settle down.  Let me tell ya, there's nothing like 60 pairs of eyes to make you feel like no matter how you choose to discipline your child someone will be judging you and your failure as a parent.

And finally, just the other weekend he made the birthday boy cry...twice.  Once more we were all gathered around for the birthday cake.  Halfway through the song I watched as Lil Mootz leaned over and blew out the candles.  If you have a moment that is more mortifying than watching your kid blow out the birthday candles that do not belong to him mid-song, having the birthday boy start crying, and then having the parents stare you down as you apologize profusely...please, share it with me to make me feel better.

Like I mentioned, he made the birthday boy cry twice.  As we were saying goodbye, Lil Mootz tried to give a hug to D., but when D. said no, Lil Mootz pushed him down.  The tears once again started flowing and by this point I was so apologized out I just grabbed my kid and ran.

I did manage to track down the birthday boy's mom right before we left to thank her and once again apologize.  She tried to be all gracious about it, but I could just tell she was not too terribly thrilled with my kid's behavior.

Do your kids have any mortifying birthday party moments that made you want to hide under the table?