I mentioned in a previous post that I feel bad doing things, like cleaning or reading, when Lil' Mootz is awake. I feel like I should be playing with him and spending time with him.
You know what's weird though? I feel less guilty doing something responsible, like cleaning or laundry, and more guilty doing something pleasurable, like reading or blogging, when Lil' Mootz is awake.
I know I really shouldn't feel guilty for either as long as I do take time out to play with him. I know I shouldn't feel guilty for not entertaining him 100% of the time. I know he needs to learn to entertain himself and not always depend on others to keep him happy. I know all this, but that doesn't change the guilty feelings.
How did all of you other moms get over feeling this way? Did you ever feel this way?
15 comments:
I have many days where I just want to sit down and read!
I don't have children, but the reality is the laundry has to get done, the house cleaned, etc. and I am sure that idealy it would be great for you to get them done during his nap time, but life happens. Don't beat yourself up to much over this, I am sure that Lil' Mootz will be happy that he has clean clothes, no matter what time in the day you washed them.
I have a hard time doing any blogging or checking my email when the kiddies are up because they want so much of my attention.
So even being able to get laundry and cleaning done is kind of like a moment to breath without having someone asking me to get them something or have one of the kids use me as a personal jungle jim!
I second what MG says. Your logic will take over eventually. Being a mom is only one of your responsibilities. It's also good for the family if you to take a break when you can. I hope your guilty feelings back off for you soon.
I so agree with you! I have a three month old little boy, and I'm a stay at home mom. I am exactly where you are! I feel bad putting him down and not giving him my undivided attention all the time. What about getting your little one to sleep? Do you do the let them cry them selves to sleep method?
I feel like that a lot of the time. But I've noticed that there's really not much I can do to actually "play" with E. I can hold her attention for maybe 10 minutes then she's on to something else. She's always been really good at entertaining herself. Now chores are something that she wants to help with our just be near by, but I'm not entertaining her. Like she'll take the clothes out of the dryer. Or today I was going through the pantry and she was standing on the step ladder coloring. So it's not so much that I'm entertaining her so much as she's entertaining herself with me with her. I got to the point when she was about a year old that I realized I can't entertain her all the time or she'll constantly want me to.
I'm not a parent, so this may not mean much. As long as you balance out the household work with the reading/blogging and spending time with your child, I would think that would be ok. That way he doesn't grow up thinking there's magical fairies cleaning up after him, or that his mom has no life other than him.
I'm not a parent either but some days I just don't feel like doing everything that's on my list to get done that day. I think all you can do is do as much as you can. Everyone needs a break.
I put Grace on the floor with a basket full of toys and then I eat my breakfast at the computer while I blog and email.
Sometimes when she is playing so happily all by herself and doesn't realize I am around I just turn around and watch her play. That takes away the guilt!!
yikes. that is my daily struggle!! especially with three kids! it's hard to manage one on one time for them all on top of keeping my sanity. at the end of the day i know that if i take some time for myself i'm in a better mood with them. which is always good! plus i enjoy doing the laundry and cleaning in the evening when they're not throwing the folded clothes across the room!!
I think you seem like a very devoted and loving mother and should maybe take a little more time for yourself.
I don't have any kids yet so I really have no idea what I'm talking about though. HAHA
Welcome to motherhood. You will find for the rest of your life, you will feel guilty. Do I spend enough time with them? Am I feeding them right? Is that the right discipline? Am I sending them to the right school? Should I let them go to that party? Do I spoil them? Am I too strict? Should I let him wear that? Blue hair? Do they have good friends? Should I let them climb that tree? Did I do everything I could possibly do to make them healthy, happy, stable, productive individuals? Guess what? You do the best you can do. You know in your gut what is right. Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your kids. Sometimes doing what you know is right is hard to do. Even if it makes you feel guilty.
I don't have any kids, but I definitely feel guilty when I'm blogging or surfing the web instead of spending time with family . As long as you have a healthy balance with everything in life, it should be fine.
Mine are older and you would think could entertain themselves for small periods of time. (key phrase. you would think.) I was just having this talk with my mom yesterday, i know I'm a SAHM but that doesnt mean that I'm a cruise director. I am not responsible for every second of the day. There are chores that need to get done around the house and even more exciting things like bills and what not, but frankly why cant I have some down time to check email and lord forbid read the news while they are eating lunch or coloring nicely. You know the ten minutes that that last!
Good luck with the balance. i dont think anyone ever figures it out and if they do they are lying!
I know I have no children and I'm totally not trying to compare...but I feel like that too sometimes. During my unemployed days in England I would sit at home reading, or watching an episode of a show my husband doesn't like and I would feel just horrible because he was at work to support us and THIS was what I was doing.
I think there are those of us that worry so much about everyone else that we rarely ever really find time to enjoy life for ourselves.
Just keep trying.
Girl you just balance the best way you can, we all do. Even with 4, I still feel I should be with them instead of doing things....yeah like my 15yr old wants me all up in his business. Having a toy pile with them in the middle playing happily while you get things done, whatever they are, is nothing to feel guilty about...we all do it!!
My hubby kept complaining about the 3 yr old getting our bed so messed up and loaded down with stuff until I told him that is what occupies her while I cook dinner!!
Post a Comment