Thursday 13: 13 Manners People Should Learn

I'm going to try my hand at a new meme today:

I'm going to start out my first 13 Thursday with 13 Manners that I think people need to work on.  All 13 of these might not apply to everyone, but if any of these so apply to you, please work on it.

1. Hold the door open for the person behind you

This takes all of 20 seconds out of your day and not much effort.  Nothing makes me want to shove something up someone's ass more than when I'm juggling a baby, a baby stroller, and some shopping bags and the person in front of me just let's the door go shut in my face.  Even if the person behind you is not struggling with full hands, it's still makes you a lovely person when you hold the door for them.

2. Say "Thank-you" when someone holds the door for you.

Whether or not you needed someone to hold the door open for you, someone still took 20 seconds out of their day to try and make your life a little bit easier.  You are not royalty who gets to ignore the good deeds of others.

3. Say "Excuse Me"

If I'm in your way, just say "Excuse me."  An elbow in my back is not a substitute for those 2 little words. An "Excuse you," after the fact does not count. 

4. Do not walk and smoke

I realize that we live in a world where it's "bad" to "torture" murders by not giving them anything less than a prison comparable to a 5-star hotel, yet I have to put up with you blowing cancer-causing, egg-count diminishing, fetus deforming smoke into the same air that I breathe.  However, if you must slowly kill me and all my children, please do so by standing in one place, so I am not forced to continuously dodge your nastiness.  I, apparently, have to have respect for your bad decisions, so please have respect for my decision to want to breathe normal air.

5. Don't drive and talk on the cell

If you have a hands-free system in your car, you can rest assured that this does not apply to you.  If you do not have a hands-free system in your car - GET ONE!  Bluetooths cost less than a tank of gas these days.  For some reason some of you seem to think you can drive and hold your phone to your ear.  Guess what? You're wrong.  I understand that your conversation is way more important than using your turn signal, looking before you merge, stopping at a red light/stop sign and/or the lives of the other drivers on the road, but let’s just pretend that it’s not when vehicular manslaughter is an outcome of your bad judgment.

6. Wipe down the toilet seat

I've discussed this in a previous post: Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence. If you didn't get a chance to read it then, take a gander at it now.

7. Cover up the boobs when breastfeeding

This one might step on some toes because I know this is a huge issue in the mommy world.  However, when breastfeeding in public, cover yourself up.  I have no desire to see your ta-tas.  I don't really care if you are providing nourishment to your child and it's a "natural" thing.  While eating my steak dinner I have no desire to be stared at by your engorged breasts and leaking nipples.

8. Provide your guests with reading material

If you are in anyway in charge of a bathroom facility in the way of home ownership or apartment leasee, place some magazines and/or books by your guest toilet.  As much as it phases people out to have to poop in homes other than their own, it does occasionally happen.  Be a good host, provide them with some reading material.

9. Farting in public

I'm not going to say don't fart in public.  Like poop, it just happens sometimes.  We've all been there before, standing in the middle of the store and suddenly, painfully, the need to fart is upon you.  If you know you have to fart be courteous to those around you and move to a less crowded corner.  I'm shopping, these other consumers are shopping and we don't like to be chased out of the aisle by your methane.

10. Take the screaming child out of the building   

Here's the thing: screaming, crying, incredibly loud babies/children are annoying.  If you are in a restaurant, store, any public place and your child decides to throw a temper tantrum, make like Elvis and leave the building.  You can finish your shopping or meal when your child has calmed down.  In the meantime, let the rest of us finish our business in peace. As the mother of a toddler who has been known to throw a tantrum or two, I do follow my own advice.

11. Share the chairs

We went to Dutch Wonderland, a theme park for kids, over the weekend.  There is a water area.  It was in the 90s this weekend, so half of the park guests were in this little area.  Of course, all the adults were fighting over the lounge chairs while their children splished and splashed.  If all 5 of your party are not actually sitting in the chairs, then you don't need all 5 chairs.  Let's be honest with ourselves.  The odds of your 3 kids sitting in those chairs all at once are pretty non-existent.  Let's be adults and share.  If you pack up your items and are waiting for the rest of your party to leave, don't sit your sneakers on your chair, so that another group can't use the chair you have just vacated.  I'm talking to you:

12. Don't butt in line

I thought we had learned this lesson in pre-school, but some of you must have missed that day.  If I'm at the head of the line and I'm paying and/or asking a question, don't just jump right up to the counter and start asking your questions.  I've got news for you: you are not more important than me or the people behind me.  Get your ass to the back of the line and wait like the rest of us. 

13. Not leaving comments on blogs

Now that's just rude! :)

What manners do you wish others would learn?